Wating for Babies

It's summer. It's really hot and dry here. I am mostly staying inside today and staying cool. I went out for awhile this morning to water my garden. I have a lot of tomatoes and squash. I'll go out for a walk this evening. My husband and I are experiencing empty nest syndrome. It's our first time in 36 years with no boys around us. I'm sure we'll adjust to it, but it seems weird now. We are trying to figure out what to do with ourselves. I have lots of closets and piles to clean out that I'm sure I'll get to eventually. Hope you are all having a good summer. Jackie

A Touching Moment

We helped deliver a baby girl on a cold morning in January. It was her first baby and it had been a long labor and a long night. She was born at 8:05 am. We were all tired, but so happy that sweet little baby had finally been born safe and sound. Another midwife, Pat Jones came in to the room. She was there to make sure everything was ok, but now the baby was born! After things settled down a little, the father of the baby told Pat thanks for her work in helping promote natural birth and midwifery care in Houston. They had seen the Birth play that she produced last fall and it had made a big difference about the plans they made for the birth of their baby (that had just been born). We were all touched- especially Pat. It was so good for her to know that the work she had put into the production of that play had directly impacted this new family. Gratitude is something that cannot be bought, only earned.

Young Women are Lucky

I'm happy to see young women come to my office and speak to me about their birth choices. These are bright, intelligent women who want to have a good birth experience. I think women have more information at their disposal concerning child birth and their options than ever before. I'm happy that women can find so much information on the internet and in bookstores. Information can help you know what kind of questions to ask and make informed decisions in order to have the best birth experience possible. There is no way you can control every aspect of having a baby, but you can have some control, and some voice in the process. Young women are definitely lucky to have so much information available.

Putting my dog down

It's a new year and I feel bad about bringing up depressing topics, but this is what is up for me in my life right now. My poor, old collie dog, Gracie, is in terrible shape. She has hip dysplasia, and can't get up and down at all anymore. She barks and yelps when she wants up. If I'm home, I go out and help her up, but I worry about her when I'm not here. She has lost a lot of weight, and just seems to be in pain all the time. She used to love to come in the house, but now she can't get up the steps, and if I carry her in, she seems disoriented and doesn't seem to want to be in the house. It seems like she has dementia and can't understand what's going on anymore. Also, she's gone completely deaf. I came home a week or two ago, and found her stuck in the mud in the bayou next to our house. I don't know how she got down there. It's terrible to see her like this. She was my walking companion for many years.
I've struggled with what to do about her for several months and now I am ready to have her put down this week. I can't stand to see her lay there and starve to death, and suffer. I will miss her, but I know she doesn't have much good ahead of her.
I guess the reason I've struggled with it so much is because I believe in natural birth, and I also believe in natural death. But I don't want to see her suffering anymore. The difference between natural birth is that it's pain with a purpose, and I really believe most of the time, it's better not to intervene. With Gracie, there is no purpose in letting her lie in the yard and die of thirst when I'm not here. I will miss her terribly, but I want her suffering to end.
I'm attaching a picture of Gracie and myself and two of my sons, taken in Galveston. This picture was taken just a few weeks after Hurricane Ike, about two years ago. This is the way I want to remember her.

A very Merry Christmas

I had a great Christmas. This was one of the best Christmas's ever. I got to stay home all day yesterday and today with my family. I guess it's safe to say there won't be any Christmas babies this year because I'm writing this at 11:30 pm, on Christmas day.

Three of my five boys were here. One that is a Senior in High School, and two of my sons that live in Oregon were home for the holidays. They had to fly home today. The house seems empty after they left this afternoon. I have another son who is on a mission for our church. He was not able to come home for Christmas because we want him to concentrate on his mission and not traveling, but we got to talk to him for about 45 minutes early this morning. That was wonderful. We put him on speaker phone and we all sat around the table talking. We all miss him a lot, but are glad he is where he is.

For Christmas, I got a necklace and earrings, a book about the Civil War, and a book about Wildflowers. I gave my husband a world map that has pins to mark all the places he's traveled to on business. It's amazing to see all the places he's been. The best part of Christmas was being home with my family. Last Christmas, I was in Amarillo with my mom who was dying.

This evening, I have been updating the blog with all the babies that have been born in the last month or two. It makes me happy to remember all the families I've worked with this year.

Several babies are due most anytime. I was secretly kind of hoping to deliver a Christmas baby, but I'm sure it won't be long. I hope to write again soon reporting their births. Jackie

My Youngest is a Senior !

Anson started 12th grade today! He's the youngest of my five sons and the only one still living at home. I can't believe it. We've had a child starting school every year for 30 years, but this is the last year. He is looking forward to a good year. Seems to have a pretty good attitude after the first day. We live two blocks from his brand new high school. I wish I'd had a brand new high school to go to. I hope it will be a good year for him.

My Birthday!!!

Today is my 52nd birthday! I feel so blessed by all the cards, calls, texts, and e-mails I received today. I am lucky to have so many friends and people that care about me and I thank you all.
This was a very busy day. I was up all night at the Birth Center and later helping with a home birth in the Heights for a baby born at 6:44 this morning. This is the first time I've ever delivered a baby on my own birthday! See the other blog for the birth stories of these two precious baby boys. After I was finished in the Heights, I went back to the office about 1 pm to see some of the people whose appointments I had to cancel this morning. I left the office to go home about 4pm. By then, I was pretty tired and went home to bed for awhile.
After I got up, George gave me a beautiful present of a green antique pitcher and tumbler set. I am going to make some lemonade in it tomorrow. My sons, Travis and Anson, and Travis' wife, Brenda, and George, and I went downtown to the Dessert Gallery for a birthday cake. I had a toffee cake. The weather was very hot and humid today and we had a thunder storm with some good lightening this evening. I love summer rain. It seems like summer now. When I was a kid, I always loved my birthday because I would get out of school. Now I am just happy to be alive and I am looking forward to a good year. I hope I get to sleep all night tonight.

Spring Time !

It's springtime in Houston! I'm getting to help with a great crop of spring babies. The weather has been so beautiful lately. I've been busy at home planting a garden with tomatoes, okra. squash, green beans, and basil. I've had some nice students working with me for the past few weeks. Lori and Brooke. It's wonderful to see new nurse-midwives and nurse-practicioners coming up and having a little bit to add to their training.

A Hard Day

This was a hard day. This is one of those days that I think about giving up and doing something else. This is one of those days when I question what I do and if I should keep doing it. I had to send one of my clients to the hospital this morning at 2:30 am for severe blood pressure problems. It was scary and I was worried about the mom and her baby. I went to the hospital with them but they wouldn't let me stay with her. I did not challenge them or try to tell them what to do. They just wouldn't let me in. The nurses were very hateful to me. Luckily, I had a good doctor there I knew we could trust and I knew she was in good hands. So I waited and wondered in the waiting room. She had her baby a few hours later. I'm happy to say everything was fine with her and the baby.
It was a beautiful spring day in Houston today. Several people said, "Have a good day, or Isn't it a beautiful day?" It wasn't a good day for me. I felt sad about how things went all day long. I've felt like it's all just too much.
But tonight, I started feeling better. I got an e-mail from someone who I helped with a birth a little over a year ago. I talked to someone who was sick with a breast infection and helped her get the right medicine to help her get well. I talked to someone with questions about pin worms and I took a nap with my cat. I am starting to get my self confidence back even though the nurses at the hospital have no use for me. I am first a wife and mother and sister and friend and I am a good midwife. I'll be ok. I need some sleep. Jackie

My Mom Died

My mom died after a long illness on January 24, 2010. I've made several trips back and forth to Amarillo to see her this year and each time I went, it was like watching a candle slowly burning out. The last time I saw her in December, her flame was just barely flickering. On the morning that she died, I was with one of my clients in labor. We didn't know if the baby was a boy or a girl. It turned out to be a girl and I thought that was kind of neat that it was a girl to replace the girl I was losing. Mama suffered a lot the last two months of her life, and I'm glad the suffering is over. I like to think she is in heaven with her mom and dad and brothers who died before her.
We had a great memorial service and funeral for her. My brother and I spoke at the funeral because mama didn't have a church or pastor. It turned out to be very intimate and personal and I'm glad we did it that way. She was buried next to her mom and dad and husband at an old cemetery in Claude, Texas.
I feel very blessed and loved by all the calls, e-mails, and cards my friends have sent. I am lucky to have so many people who care about me and that I care about as well. That would make mama happy.

2010 New Year Letter and 2009 Wrap Up

Dear Friends, January 2010

Another year gone by and a new one to start over with! I’ve loved hearing from so many family and friends this Christmas season. And especially pictures of all the kids and families are such a treat. Thanks for taking the time to send your greetings.

I want to wish all of you Happy New 2010. I hope it will be a good year for us all. Here’s a few of the highlights of our family in 2009.

· Bonham graduated from high school! He was surprised we made such a big deal about it. He said he thought he had to.

· Took a summer vacation to South Padre Island in July. It was great.

· Anson and I went to see a Bruce Springsteen concert in April. I had to twist his arm to go, but he admitted it was a great concert. I loved it.

· In September, Luke, Abbey, Travis, and Brenda came home from Oregon after 2 ½ years. It’s been wonderful to have them home again.

· Luke left in early December to work at Snowbird Ski Resort in Utah. He’s happy skiing every day.

· Had a Griggs family reunion at our house in March. Had a great turn out. First Griggs reunion in 25 years!

· I got to go to a great midwife conference in Pacific Grove, California (near Monterey) in October. It was really wonderful and I would heartily endorse Pacific Grove as a vacation destination.

· We took in a little stray sheltie dog and named him PupPup. He died from heart worms in November. We are still sad about it.

· George went hunting and got a mule deer. Come see us and we’ll give you a package of meat.

· Jackie helped with 86 babies- 46 girls and 40 boys. The birth center is doing well. I still love what I do and it keeps me very busy!

· Travis and Brenda are living in the little house behind our house. It is wonderful to have them so close.

· We got to go to several movies, concerts, talks, home tours, Astros games, and a canoe trip this year. Bonham and I went for a weekend in Austin to all our favorite restaurants.

· Anson got his drivers license and took over Travis’ old red El Camino.

· Planted 8 fruit trees on our property. A tough year for little trees to start out. No rain and temp above 100 for most of June.

· George stayed home most of 2009. Only a few trips to a job in Woodward, Oklahoma. His work decided he is too important to let him travel much.

· I stuck with my goal for 2009 and went to the library at least once a month. I read a lot of books this year-mostly about the Holocaust.

· Anson is doing great in 11^th grade at a brand new just built high school. He was born to be a teenager and doing a good job at it.

· Bonham is going on a mission for our church to California (San Jose area). He will be working with Spanish speaking people. He is leaving early February for two years. He is very excited and looking forward to it.

This year is starting out sadly for me. I just got back from Amarillo to see my mom. She is very sick and I think that is probably the last time I will see her. She is 82 and her health has declined steadily since she had a bad car wreck about seven years ago. It is very sad to see her in so much pain and I hope this will not last long. I feel torn between staying there and being in Houston to see after my own family and my clients having babies. I just try to think about mama being with her family members who have passed before her and how happy that would be. Dying is part of living. It’s also like birth-it happens in it’s own time.

As you can see, the boys are growing up and we are growing older. We are so proud of each one of them. We have a lot to be thankful for. We hope to see you all this year.

With love,

Jackie and the boys

PS. Here’s my blog sites: www.lifeofamidwife.blogspot.com, www.bayareabirths.blogspot.com

Bonham going on a Mission!

My son, Bonham, is going on a mission for our church. He recently got his letter telling him he will be serving in the San Jose, California area working with Spanish speaking people. He is very happy and excited to get started. He starts on February 1st, 2010 and serves for two years. I am very proud of him. If you see any Mormon missionaries, please be kind to them as a favor to me. I know this doesn't have anything with delivering babies, but it has a lot to do with my life. My life as a midwife always has been and always will be intertwined with my life as a mother.

A Sad Week- Our Dog Died

Another thing that happened that has nothing to do with delivering babies, but a lot to do with the life of a midwife. Our little, sheltie, Pup-Pup died a few days ago and I have been so sad all week. We had only had him for a few months, but were very attached to him. He just showed up at our house last summer and we kept him. We took him to our vet to see if he had a chip so that we could find his previous owners. He didn't have a chip, but the vet told us he had heart worms. We had him treated- which was kind of expensive- and we thought he was going to be ok.
A few nights ago, he started coughing and having trouble breathing. We knew he was going to die. He struggled to breathe all night and died early the next morning. The vet had warned us that might happen, but we had started thinking he was going to be ok.
The death of a pet or anyone in your family is very sad and that is how I have been feeling this past week.

Waiting for a Mission Call

My son, Bonham, is 19 and he is getting ready to go on a mission for our church. We are waiting for a letter to tell us where he will be assigned. He sent an application in early November and we are expecting the letter any day now. He has been checking the mail every day. I think it will be a Spanish speaking country because he can already speak Spanish very well. He thinks it will be Russia. I know this doesn't have anything to do with delivering babies, but it has a lot to do with the life of this midwife. I will let you all know soon where he will be going.

An Old Friend Found Me!

My best friend, Candy, from junior high found me on Facebook. It has been so much fun to reconnect with her. I haven't seen her in about 30 years and I haven't talked to her in about 15 years. She knew I had 5 sons and she knew I was a midwife, but there are so many things to catch up on. She lives in California now. We went to school together in Amarillo, Texas in the 70's. This is one of those neat things that happens in life that is priceless and no amount of money could buy.

A crazy night of Birthing- 3 Babies in one hour!

November 10th and 11th are days I'll never forget. Three babies born- one a week overdue, one a week early, and one right on time all within 30 minutes of each other! I've never had anything like this before and hope it never happens again, but it all turned out fine. Here are how things went from the midwife's perspective.
In the wee hours of Nov. 10th , two of my clients had their water break and wake them up. Neither of them started having strong contractions right away. So we waited. We waited all day long. I talked to both of them throughout the day. Sarah (1st baby)came to the birth center to be checked. Angela (3rd baby) stayed home. I encouraged both of them to rest and suggested things to do to get labor going. I worked at the office all day, but took a nap in the afternoon.
Sarah came back to the birth center about 6 pm. She was going to try several things to get labor going- such as castor oil, herbs, breast pump, walking, etc... Angela was starting to have more contractions but still not really in labor. Then Carmen (2nd baby VBAC) called- she was a week overdue and starting to have contractions. I asked Carmen to come to the birth center. About 9 pm, I checked to see how much dilated Sarah was- 1-2 cm. Not long after that, I checked and found out Carmen was 1 cm. So when Angela called back, to tell me she was having more stronger contractions, I went to her ( She was planning a homebirth). I left Camellia (midwife) and Dena (doula) at the birth center.
Carmen called me on my way to Angela's house and told me she was going back home. I thought that was a good idea and I wasn't even sure if she was in labor. When I got to Angela, she was 4 cm and having strong regular contractions. Around midnight, Camellia called to say she was taking Sarah to the hospital. She was having unbearable, unrelenting pain and she was only 2cm. I had to trust her to do the right thing, so they went to the hospital. I stayed with Angela who was having a slow labor. Diana (midwife) and Connie (student midwife) came to help me. We helped Angela through the night.
About 4 am, Carmen called to say she was really definitely in labor. She was planning a home birth in Sugarland which was about as far from me as she could possibly be and still be in the Houston area. So I called another midwife, Sandra, in Sugarland and she went to Carmen. I also called Dena to help her. When she got there about an hour later, Carmen was 7 cm and doing very well!
I got several text messages through the night from Camellia about Sarah. She was ok- better after getting an epidural. They wouldn't let Camellia stay with Sarah so she went on home about 5 am.
All three women through the night and into the morning. All three had vaginal births! Sarah had her baby at the hospital at 9:11 am, Angela had hers at home at 9:16 am, and Carmen had hers at home at 9:54 am!!!! Praise the Lord!!!! More details on the other blog.

Tired tonight

I'm really tired tonight and fixing to go to bed. I was up all night last night, but got to sleep this morning between 8-10 am. It was my privilege to help bring two new baby girls into the world today. I was torn between Katy and Pasadena at 1 am this morning. Luckily, Camellia and Dena were able to stay at the birth center while I went to Katy. (See the other blog for more details).
Even when I'm tired, I am happy to be a midwife and feel lucky to get the work. This Saturday is the annual Birth Fair. I am looking forward to it to see all my midwife and childbirth friends.

A Birth Story from 19 years ago

Today is my son, Bonham's 19th birthday. He is my 4th son and my 2nd homebirth Even after all these years, I still remember and relive all the things that happened on the day of his birth. Maybe some of you have seen the birth pictures I have in a framed picture at the office. He is the one that is born in that picture. I don't have it hung up anywhere because I have always been afraid it would be embarrassing to him. They are pretty graphic pictures. Here is a short summary of my birth story with him.
I was 2 weeks overdue (it wasn't such a big deal to be 2 weeks over in 1990). I went to church that morning and felt uncomfortable, but not in labor. That afternoon, about 4 pm, I was laying on the couch taking a nap, and I felt my water start leaking. It gradually flowed out but it was several hours before I started having any contractions. Once contractions started, about 8 pm, it got going strong. My midwife came over about 11pm. I was working for her as an assistant at the time. By the time she got there, I couldn't talk much. I was in deep labor. It was completely normal with no problems. Contractions just got stronger and stronger and then I had an urge to push, and shortly, he was born. I ended up on the floor kneeling up against my bed. He was born at 12:45 am. My husband really thought it was a girl, but it wasn't. I was delighted with him from the moment I saw him. He was my biggest baby (9lb10oz), but the easiest one to get out. That proved to me that the baby being in a good position is the most important thing about how they come out. I had a friend there (MiMi Sellers) who took lots of pictures and then later, I made them into a collage.
So today, 19 years later, he wanted to go to Hermann Park and go walking and he wanted a pumpkin pie. So that is what we did. Thanks to all of you who are close to having your babies for letting me have a good day with my son.

New Birth Videos

You Tube has changed everything. Things are changing so fast, it's hard to keep up with. I've seen so many good birth videos at this conference I am attending.
Here are some links:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1uEJdKvGM8

ACOG wants failed homebirth stories

I put a link to this out on e-mail and boy did I get a big response!!! A few of my clients who acted quickly and were able to get their story in. But ACOG got bombarded with thousands of stories of good home births and from women all across the United States and they took their request down. Now they made it where only doctors who are members of ACOG can enter bad home birth stories. I'm sad that they want to collect these kind of stories. Midwives could start a website about failed hospital births. I'm glad to see there is so much grassroots support for home birth.