This was a hard day. This is one of those days that I think about giving up and doing something else. This is one of those days when I question what I do and if I should keep doing it. I had to send one of my clients to the hospital this morning at 2:30 am for severe blood pressure problems. It was scary and I was worried about the mom and her baby. I went to the hospital with them but they wouldn't let me stay with her. I did not challenge them or try to tell them what to do. They just wouldn't let me in. The nurses were very hateful to me. Luckily, I had a good doctor there I knew we could trust and I knew she was in good hands. So I waited and wondered in the waiting room. She had her baby a few hours later. I'm happy to say everything was fine with her and the baby.
It was a beautiful spring day in Houston today. Several people said, "Have a good day, or Isn't it a beautiful day?" It wasn't a good day for me. I felt sad about how things went all day long. I've felt like it's all just too much.
But tonight, I started feeling better. I got an e-mail from someone who I helped with a birth a little over a year ago. I talked to someone who was sick with a breast infection and helped her get the right medicine to help her get well. I talked to someone with questions about pin worms and I took a nap with my cat. I am starting to get my self confidence back even though the nurses at the hospital have no use for me. I am first a wife and mother and sister and friend and I am a good midwife. I'll be ok. I need some sleep. Jackie