Monday, March 15, 2010

A Hard Day

This was a hard day. This is one of those days that I think about giving up and doing something else. This is one of those days when I question what I do and if I should keep doing it. I had to send one of my clients to the hospital this morning at 2:30 am for severe blood pressure problems. It was scary and I was worried about the mom and her baby. I went to the hospital with them but they wouldn't let me stay with her. I did not challenge them or try to tell them what to do. They just wouldn't let me in. The nurses were very hateful to me. Luckily, I had a good doctor there I knew we could trust and I knew she was in good hands. So I waited and wondered in the waiting room. She had her baby a few hours later. I'm happy to say everything was fine with her and the baby.
It was a beautiful spring day in Houston today. Several people said, "Have a good day, or Isn't it a beautiful day?" It wasn't a good day for me. I felt sad about how things went all day long. I've felt like it's all just too much.
But tonight, I started feeling better. I got an e-mail from someone who I helped with a birth a little over a year ago. I talked to someone who was sick with a breast infection and helped her get the right medicine to help her get well. I talked to someone with questions about pin worms and I took a nap with my cat. I am starting to get my self confidence back even though the nurses at the hospital have no use for me. I am first a wife and mother and sister and friend and I am a good midwife. I'll be ok. I need some sleep. Jackie

8 comments:

Lisa said...

i cant imagine our lives without you in them. you are and amazing person and you bring joy to so many women. i was so happy to have you as my midwife the first time around and i thank God you are still doing what you do this time around also. sometimes things happen for a reason and only in reflection can we see how it all fit together. those nurses are just closed minded and brainwashed by the medical establishment. luckily theres only a percentage of people who feel that way. you are an incredible person, never doubt what you do...none of us doubt you.

Amanda said...

Lucinda and I send our love. Can you believe that she will be three in just a couple of days? Sorry that I missed you when you stopped by a few weeks ago...I was out of town.

Seeing all these babies makes me want another.

Don't let a bad day get you down. You do more good in one birth than most people do in a month.

Love-
Amanda

Sarah said...

Don't let those mean nurses get your down or doubt yourself Jackie. You are such a gift and blessing in the lives of so many mamas and babies. Without you I can say that there would have been no way I would have had a natural birth and I doubt I'd still be breastfeeding a happy and healthy 17 month old. You have touched more lives than you'll ever know. We love you!

Charisa said...

You're valuable to me. Without your wonderful knowledge and skills our daughter would not have been welcomed into this world so gently.

Eric, Judith, Isaac, Javier, and Benjamin Cruz said...

Jackie, people that act like that do it out of ignorance and to make themselves feel important! I feel horribly that you were treated like that! If they only knew the expertise that you bring to each birth! We love you!

Eric, Judith, Isaac, Javier, and Benjamin Cruz said...

Jackie, people that act like that do it out of ignorance and to make themselves feel important! I feel horribly that you were treated like that! If they only knew the expertise that you bring to each birth! We love you!

Anonymous said...

Jackie,
From one labor an delivery nurse to another remember that people seek you out to found a better way to DELIVERY THIER BLESSING INTO THSI WORLD. like I did i work with the nurses that think pregnancy is a sickness when we know that it is a blessing.I miss you more each day and I am thankful for you.One day I hope to bring the joy you brought me to other mothers
Lindsey

Lisa S said...

You were great Jackie, please don't doubt yourself. We need more people like you. After all of it, I'm still very glad we used you as our midwife and I truely believe you saved me from being having a c-section. I'm sorry it was so hard on you!